The Wolfman 2010

Benicio Del Toro looking bloated and bored plays Lawrence Talbot an actor who although born in Britain has been living and working in America for many years. He returns to London on a tour, and before you know it, he’s bitten by a werewolf and is soon howling at the full moon and running wild all over... the place biting and killing anyone who gets in his way. There are some flashbacks to show us how traumatic Larry’s childhood was, including the gruesome and mysterious death of his beloved mother all of which is played out with a loud and predictable score by Danny Elfman blaring away and who is quickly wearing out his welcome in my house. We all know the plot from the camp B Universal classic from the 1940’s that starred Lon Chaney Jr. as Talbot, and even in its low budget skin has more class and is more fun than this over done remake. It’s another Victorian roller coaster ride folks full of misty moors, evocative gaslit London street scenes and lots of computer effects that some of us have come to know and hate. The film does have some speed in the gory killing episodes and this is especially true in the sanatorium scenes towards the end of the film. The movie does wears its expensive coat rather nicely, but for all the expense it’s a pretty dull affair. The cast is also dull and bloated led by the increasingly exasperating and lazy Anthony Hopkins who sleepwalks through the film playing Del Toro’s mean and secretive dad and who lives in the largest CGI mansion I think I’ve ever seen. Its also the dirtiest. There are actually cob webs all over the place, and the floors are covered with dead leaves from what could only be years of leaving the front door open. This house needs a good sweeping and so does the film. Also on hand is Emily Blunt who to be blunt gives a lousy performance as the fiancée of Benicio’s brother who is put away by the creature in the first few minutes of the movie. Hugo Weaving appears as an incompetent detective who at the end of the film is bitten by the wolfman, thus providing us with the scariest moment of this tiring film and that is Heaven forbid a sequel will be coming soon to the multiplex. Geraldine Chaplin looking old and withered (has she ever looked otherwise even in her youth) plays the gypsy witch originally done with scenery chewing dexterity by the great Maria Ouspenskaya, and sorry Gerry but you are no Maria Ouspenskaya . This is an easy film to tear apart with my fangs and claws so I will stop, and just open my window and howl my derision at the filmmakers and actors of this Wolfman.