Saturday Night and Chelsea Morning

I woke to a Chelsea morning and the clatter of fingers on typewriter keys. “Dennis is up early,” I thought as I got out of bed. The winter sun was leaking through the closed wooden shutters and as I came out of my bedroom the cats Sam, Charlie and Lisa the dog greeted me. Sam was Peter’s cat and Charlie belonged to Dennis. Charlie was a wonderful looking black and white cat, with a small black Adolph Hitler mustache and white paws. “Charlie looks like he’s wearing white socks, Kathy once said, and it was true he did look like he was wearing white socks. He was also a loner, and would keep

to himself never joining in the playing between Sam and Lisa. I think Lisa must have thought she was also a cat. If I forgot to close the door to the bedroom, the cats would climb on my bed and weigh down my blankets so that it was hard for me to toss and turn. Lisa would lie near the bed, and I would always step on her when I would get up in the middle of the night and stumble to the John to take a pee. Poor thing would let out a yelp that would wake up Sam and Charlie who would hiss and spit before falling back to sleep and would shatter the night’s silence. “Good Morning Dennis” I said poking my head in the doorway of the office where Dennis was hard at work. He gave me a morning greeting without looking up or stopping his typing. “Peter up and out already?” I asked. “Yeah you can say that, he hasn’t been home yet, out all night.” No sooner had Dennis said this that we heard Peter at the front door his key in the lock.” “Lisa get back” I could hear Peter telling the dog, as he tried to move into the narrow hall and avoid Lisa’s poop that sat on the newspaper that had not been picked up yet. “Good morning” Dennis and me said at the same time. Peter looked disheveled, as if he hadn’t slept. “Oh God what a night” he said, as I started the coffee brewing. “Where the hell were you?” I asked Well I went to Julius’s and picked up this luscious Jewish boy. We spent the whole night at a friends apartment who was away for the day.” I just stared at him. “Luscious Jewish boy, what are they growing them on trees these days?” He laughed his hearty laugh, well my friend you have met your match in Jewish lusciousness.” Oh really, Listen Pedro, there is only room for one Jewish prince in this apartment, and don’t you forget it.” Again he laughed. Well you’ll get to meet Mark tonight; I invited him to my dinner party. “Oh how nice, I can hardly wait. “Listen babe I have a big favor to ask, can we use your bedroom tonight.? I asked him to spend the night”. “Oh fuck”I thought, that means that I’ll have to sleep on that lumpy uncomfortable convertible with Dennis. “Well Peter do I have a choice.” Don’t worry pet, I’ll make it up to you. “ You bet you will, I thought to myself. “So tell me, is this Mark, just Luscious Jewish or Pretty Jewish?” “Oh no Ira, not again with the pretty Jewish thing. I’m going to lay down for a bit, before I have to start getting ready for this dinner party, which I regretting minute by minute. My head is killing me. I was due at the Museum of Modern Art, where I was to be interviewed by the owner of a performing arts summer camp. I was to meet him in front of the museum and he would get me in for free since he was a member. The interview was to be in the café. “What a nice place to meet for a job interview” I thought. I had done the summer camp counselor thing two years before, but I was a much different person then I was back in 66, and I thought it might be a good way to make some money for the summer and get the hell out of the city for a few months. “I’ll see you later. “ I said as I made my way out of the apartment. “Ira” Dennis called out as I made my way out. “Don’t forget Bob is bringing Tai with him tonight to dinner.” “Oh right” I said. Tai was not a friend of Bob’s but my new Siamese kitten that Bob was giving to me. Bob had asked me last week if I would like to have one of his new Siamese kittens, and I told him I would have to check with Dennis and Peter. “Oh why not, what’s one more cat.” Dennis said, and Peter agreed, so tonight I would be the owner of a cat, a first for me. “You know Ira, Peter had said, Siamese cats can be difficult.” Yes so I’ve heard, but he’s such a sweet little kitten, and so beautiful.” “Yes they can be beautiful, but I hope you won’t have your hands full.” I would soon find out how full my hands would be. When I got back to the apartment the wonderful smells of Peter’s cooking greeted me as soon as I got in the door. . He looked rested and asked me how the interview had gone. “I guess he liked me, but we’ll see.” “How’s the dinner coming, need help? “ “No everything is under control here; you might want to see if Dennis could use your help” The apartment was all neat and tidy, and we were all hoping that the roaches would be on their best behavior. “What time is luscious Jewish coming?” I guess around 7:30 or 8 the same as the rest of the guests. “Listen Ira, I really appreciate you giving up your bedroom for tonight.” “No problem Peter.” The smell of incense hung in the air along with air freshner and the glorious smells of rice beans and pork. Some wine and pot was in order as we waited for our guests to arrive. Happily the first guest to arrive was Bob with Tai in tow. “Well we made it” Bob said, as he put down the traveling cat box and slowly coaxed Tai out. The spitting and hissing began the minute Bob took Tai out of the box, and poor Lisa went and hid in my bedroom until the coast was clear. I bonded with Tai right away, he was mine and I was his for better or worse. Soon all the animals were playing and scampering through the apartment as more of our friends arrived. Dick and Kathy, Sal and Carol, Bob and a few others were sitting around in the living room, smoking, drinking laughing and chatting. They all admired Tai who already was being possessive of me. Peter was acting weird and nervous I guess because he was excited about pretty Jewish coming over. I was having a good time, when suddenly our bell rang, and Peter jumped up, scaring Lisa and the three cats. He disappeared to get the door, and came back with his new luscious Jewish boy. I took an immediate dislike to Mark, “he’s too chubby” I said to myself, I’m cuter, what does Peter see in him. Of course Mark was totally intimated by me but we all tried to make him feel as comfortable as we could considering that I couldn’t stand him. Suddenly Peter and Mark were gone, and the bedroom door closed. I could not believe what was happening. We all looked at each other, and started to laugh and make snide remarks. Dennis was not amused by Peter’s rudeness, but everyone else just accepted the fact that Peter was being Peter. Every so often he would bless us with his company and join in the conversation that was getting more and more uncomfortable and strained. Dennis got the dinner on the table and we all helped ourselves to the marvelous Pork rice and beans that Peter had cooked. What was really odd was that Mark stayed in the bedroom. “I’ll just bring him in a plate, Peter said. Well don’t get any on my sheets I yelled out, and I got one very dirty look from across the room as Peter went back into the bedroom. This time he didn’t come back out until everyone was leaving. It was not a fun evening except maybe for Peter and chubby Mark. Well at least I had my new cat who was already taking over my life by following me around the apartment like a dog as I started to tidy up a bit. Dennis is it normal for a cat to act like a dog I asked as I started to tidy up. We could hear moaning and groaning coming from the bedroom. I’ll never be able to sleep through that I thought. “Well let’s get the couch open Dennis said. And I was right, I couldn’t sleep. The springs of the mattress were digging into me, and the “noise” from the bedroom was keeping me up. When I finally did fall asleep I suddenly woke up unable to breathe. Tai was sleeping on my face, and the other two cats were on my stomach. Lisa was moaning and farting in her sleep and Dennis was snoring to beat the band. I was upset. I would have to examine my feelings about this situation the next day I told myself. My mind was swimming with images. I was still a little drunk and stoned. The apartment was stifling, too much heat, too much heat I got up and open the window in the living room to let the cold February air in. That should help I thought. Tai kept trying to sleep on my face, and Sam and Charlie were now playing on my stomach. Was I jealous of Peter, of Mark of both of them, was I freaked out by the gay sex happening under my nose, in my bed on my sheets that my mother gave me. Let me out of here. I looked at the clock 4 o clock, I got up and dressed and left the apartment for a nice cold walk to the village. I must have been half crazed to wander out at this hour, but the young know no fear. I walked to Greenwich Avenue and then down to 6^th ave where I found an open 24-hour diner. I felt like I had walked into an Edward Hopper painting. I sat down at the counter and ordered some coffee and a buttered roll. My head was swimming with terrible thoughts of confusion. Across the counter a middle age couple were having a heated argument when suddenly the man picked up the bowl of oatmeal that sat in from of him and dumped it on his woman friend’s head. The other night owls and me just stared. The poor woman just sat there with the bowl on her head and the oatmeal running down her face. She finally took the bowl off her head, and with all the dignity she could muster, slapped the guy in the face, and went off to the ladies room. I paid my check. By the time I reached 8^th ave, the winter sun was coming up and there were tears streaming down my face. Was it because of the cold? Who were the tears for? Were they for me, the lady with the oatmeal bowl for a hat? I made my way slowly up the stairs and opened the door where I was greeted by the three cats and Lisa. Well at least someone is happy to see me I thought. TO BE CONTINUED.

Pictures used in this post: Tai, Charlie and Sam, Me in the village and Tai again